• Tameka

WARNING: Four reasons why family members chose not 2 tell family secrets!


Black women are the most underrated class of women. (That is not up for debate)

It saddened me to see so many women make jokes and victimize the victims of the #SurvivingRKelly documentary series. I noticed that there immediate response was 2 protect the image of R.Kelly. WHY? Is it because they have never lived through #domesticviolence or #sexualassault or could it be that they are idolizing R.Kelly's celebrity status? The women in the series are being faced with unfair judgement because of the lack of education in the areas of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault that some individuals have. People will be quick 2 cast the first stone when they aren't directly involved in a situation. People have told me "WOW! I would have never thought that he was like that." Well yes ma'am/sir he was. F.Y.I. abusers tend to have a "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" personality. From the outside looking in; they are as nice as Dr. Jekyll. But, in all actuality it's really Mr. Hyde that they imitate. Mr. Hyde was infatuated with power. The more power that he gained, the more hideous he became. Hyde was violent and he lacked compassion or remorse. Yelp! that's a narcissist in a nutshell.


It was stated that R. Kelly himself was abused and molested. So, it is understood that his family had some generational curses that had developed over time that were not broken. He had the money and resources to break the generational curses that plagued his family. But, that wasn't the choice he chose. Instead, he continued down the destructive path that had been paved throughout his family. He continued 2 poison society by ruining countless lives along the way.


People tend 2 overlook Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault until it hits home. This, by then could possibly be 2 late. Awareness and education on these topics are being spread on every platform. It's no longer the "family secret" that is not being addressed. I hope the R. Kelly series has allowed you 2 Take the blinders off to Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault. Understand that there are plenty more of his type in society. They are your neighbors, your family members, your coworkers, your church members, your friends, etc. Do you know the signs and red flags that are present when someone is being abused and/or assaulted? It's more than physical abuse. Gas lighting, isolation, manipulation, economic deprivation, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, intimidation, stalking are all different types of viscous, malicious tactics that abusers use to keep power and control over someone.


  1. Selfishness - If the abuser gets arrested who's going 2 pay the rent, pay the bills, buy groceries, etc. The financial security will be gone.

  2. Fear of exposing the family secret - The family name will be ruined and the family will be shamed and embarrassed publicly.

  3. Denial - They lie 2 themselves once they do find out. If they didn't see it....then it didn't happen.

  4. Past experiences - Their own childhood traumatic experiences caused them to normalize the situation because they were treated the same way.

There are countless other reasons that I could've named. As I type this up; I thought of a fifth one that I wanted 2 mention.

5. Greed - A love of money. Do you remember the story line from Tyler Perry's film Madea's Family Reunion? Lynn Whitfield knew that Blair Underwood was abusive to her daughter/his fiance. But, she expected her 2 put up with it because he was rich and he knew that Lynn Whitfield gain access to his fiance/her daughter's trust fund. Lynn Whitfield also use 2 let her deceased husband have his way with her oldest daughter when she was a child. She would bath her, have her smelling good, fix her hair all pretty, and leave her at home along with him because he threatened 2 leave her if she didn't and her extravagant lifestyle would be ripped away from her. It may have been a scripted movie, but it resonated with the realities of today's society..... SMH!!!

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#survivors #blog #advocate #domesticviolence #rkelly #sexualassault #domesticviolenceawareness

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